Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
