Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
