You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
