I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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