Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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