Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
