Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
