wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
