I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
