Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
