You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
