There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
