I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
