Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
