I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
