She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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