she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
