Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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