Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
