Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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