i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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