Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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