so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
