i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
