Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
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