WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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