So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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