the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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