Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
