sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dignity is for republicans.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
