They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
