I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
