i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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