the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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