I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
