she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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