So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he thought i was a dude.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
