I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
