She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
