I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You need a sexual gate keeper
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
