Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
