he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He better not be in your backpack
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
