We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
