perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
