she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
