White coat. Heels.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
