Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
