He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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