she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
