It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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