Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
