I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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