apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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