like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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