Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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