Even the bartender felt bad for me
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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