Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
