so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If I die, sorry about rent.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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