I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
ok first of all what the fuck
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
