I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
